Nothing compares to the sensation of total powerlessness and hopelessness that accompanies major life blunders and setbacks. Your heart seems to be pained by a dagger. Usually, the error knocks us so hard that it takes months or even years to recover. I have been in that situation a few times, and every time I made a major error, I wondered how I could forgive myself. At times I felt I lacked the will to keep on. not on an emotional level. Not spiritually speaking. Not in the mind. Surely not physically as well either.
Would you want to know a secret? Errors are understandable. Failure is very okay. Being human is natural. Life always involves mistakes. When we do something wrong and obsess over it for hours, anxiety turns into an incapacitating force. Having worked so hard my entire life for excellence, even the thought of making a mistake was absolutely debilitating. When we treat ourselves poorly, we find it simpler to criticize ourselves. When I didn’t love myself, I would get so mired in self-loathing that I scarcely could even see myself in the mirror because I wasn’t receiving what I was aiming for. Growing up, I could rarely be calmed down if I failed an exam and received just a mark less than an A. Once I understood what self-compassion is, however, I could at last see my faults and shortcomings and start to criticize somewhat less.
As long as you are devoting time, energy, and effort to right them. I found myself forgiving of myself somehow. Once the shattered bits were retrieved, I continued That was not simple. To be honest, that was maybe among the hardest things I have ever had to do. And I promised myself every time it would never happen once again. Those were depressing years. Moreover, I thought I could not pardon myself for mistakes. Still, things evolved over time. It did not happen right away. There was surely a process involved. When one looks back on those mistakes today, reflection was also somewhat engaged.
These reminders enable me to be more kind to myself and cope with setbacks.
1) Refrain from focusing on the error.
Even though everyone makes errors, sometimes it might be hard to recall them while we’re still in process. We do every bit to prevent the possible suffering and costs involved. Among other things, we run the danger of losing our families, relationships, jobs, and reputation. Thinking back on your mistake will just cause you to get dejected and pessimistic, therefore impeding your development. Let yourself be free to overlook it. Read something interesting, see an inspirational movie, listen to upbeat music, see your favorite movie, and inhale deeply several times.
2) Perfecting is a myth.
Like me, you self-correct for careless errors. I am guilty of making errors even though I used to detest disappointing people and desire to go for perfection. You attempt to identify where you went wrong as you mentally go over everything once again. You have to pay for your deeds at last. Realizing that mistakes are natural helps one to have a better life. Although everyone wants to live flawlessly, it is not realistic. We never succeed even if we keep trying. That’s reasonable. Making errors forces us to grow individually. It is reasonable as long as you are doing your best.
3) You are compassionate; your shortcomings or faults do not define who you are.
Nobody expected us to be perfect. One error defines nothing about your life. Should you fail an exam because you neglected to prepare for it, your college career is not ended. Making errors aids in your learning and development only. Rising from a mistake is among the best things you can accomplish. There are faults in everyday living. Deeply breathe and go beyond your mistake. Let your failures not drag you down. It makes you not the worst person on Earth. To have failed, lost, and then learned your lesson makes you human.
4) Currently, what is your main concern and why?
You must sort your values. Use the suffering resulting from previous mistakes to guide your decisions on what is important to you now and going forward. We often live in a reactive mindset and fail to really assess the priorities in our lives. We have to therefore list our values in order to deliberately arrange them. They have to be arranged in sequence of importance along with an explanation for each sequence. As we negotiate life, love, and our goals, we may then prioritize our time, energy, and activities using those values as a road map.
Focusing on what is really important helps one to assess the appropriate direction of action in terms of values. Our lives can be improved, and we may proceed with real goals of development, contribution, and global improvement of the environment. Making a mistake is not like the end of the world, even if it might feel like such. Therefore, you must initiate a fresh start and rectify your mistake. Trying to fix a mistake is the best line of action after one makes one.
Keep a thankfulness notebook and promise yourself to live differently this time.
Having worked so hard my entire life for excellence, even the thought of making a mistake was absolutely debilitating. When we treat ourselves poorly, we find it simpler to criticize ourselves. When I didn’t love myself, I would become so mired in self-loathing that I could not even look at myself in the mirror as I wasn’t receiving what I was looking for. I would therefore periodically remind myself of all the amazing things for which I am thankful. Whatever it is—your home, your family, your health, or your food—concentrate on the things for which you most owe thanks. It is rather tough to be thankful for something and simultaneously feel angry or self-critical.
End
It’s time for us to quit hoping for the first time we’ll be perfect. Making mistakes is okay; sometimes the first time you won’t always be right. We have to get used to not being good. Once we have done anything once, especially if we get the desired result, the fear will gradually go. One also has to own the factors behind the error. If it was mostly your doing, promise to adjust your way of life. Having an accountability buddy can assist you in achieving your goals. Though it’s not always easy, it’s crucial to own those mistakes. If you can, you will be able to forgive yourself more readily and experience much greater future optimism.
That’s all of me. Thank you for reading!
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